While I was working on less-enjoyable tasks for clients and FailCon, I could look forward to this time to explore and learn, to pursue a new passion.  I generally was joyful for time for myself, and for the opportunity to try something new.

Well, now I don’t have something to distract me; now I am actually supposed to be focussing on this.  And I am engulfed with soul-crushing terror.  What if I’m not good enough?  What if I don’t even get meetings?  What if I can’t handle a structured work-place?  What if…what if…what if.  And at times it’s so bad as to be paralyzing.  I find small hobbies to distract myself, games to play, blog posts to write (heh).

So I’m on the hunt for suggestions on how to overcome this.  Some things I’m trying (that work to some level) are having a very structured schedule, working out (which seems to work off stress), talking to as many people as I can (which also has the problem of keeping me from learning), and working to set small goals (which right now is hard, not even knowing what is realistic to start.)

But I welcome any other suggestions – small goals I can set, low-anxiety foods, etc.  Please do let me know, as I find myself short of breath more often than I would like to be…